Simplistically stated. Stuff we all know. Stuff we all know we all know. And yet, reading it from the perspective of the writer puts a totally different spin on the topic of dealing with other people - a task we're faced with in absolutely all facets of our lives.
Under the Part 1: The Fundamental Techniques of Handling People, Dale Carnegie (the author), said to always view things from the other person's perspective. What does he mean? When Mr. Carnegie had rented a ball room to host his series on leadership, the hotel raised his usual rate by 300%. Did he storm into the managers office telling him what an idiot the hotel chain was? That now, because of their stupidity they'd lose his business all together?! No. Not even. He sat down across from the man and said he completely understood why the hotel would do this - to maximize profits. And had the manager not done his job, Mr. Carnegie would have expected him to be rightfully fired. And then he reasons with the man from the man's perspective. No yelling, no pointing fingers, no storming out. The Result? Mr. Carnegie's rate was dropped 250%. Amazing.
So what if Dale had walked in yelling and screaming and throwing things? He would have gotten his point across, yes. But do you think that hotel manager would have bent over backwards to decrease the cost to Mr. Carnegie? No way in hell.
This would pose a HUGE challenge to me. I mean, I've got to look out for numero uno, right? WRONG. Look out for others, and they'll do the same for you. It's a proven fact that I think we as individuals so often forget in this narcisistic society of the 21st century. I know I have.
Part 2 of the book - 6 ways to make people like you - recommends taking a deeper interest in others. Like really act interested in them, what makes them tick, what they did today. Never talk about yourself. No one cares about yourself. They care about the "me, mine, my, I". Harsh words, but the truth hurts.
Example: Recently a woman started working at my office. She was only a temp so no one has paid her much attention. The other day, she'd stopped in to ask me about the location of some recruiter in the buidling. I said the person was probably located on seventh floor and left it at that. I ran into the temp lady yesterday... the thought looming in my mind "Heather. take a deeper interest. Ask her about her day...ask her about "her" So I asked if she'd been able to locate the recruiter. Of course she hadn't! This building is an ant hill! I smiled and offered to take her upstairs to find the person.... testing to see if this book was legit. You know what happened?
It turns out that her children go to the same small private school as my little sister - the same one I'd graduated from years ago! By some luck of the draw, we'd ended up not only in the same building but on the same team! I'm pretty sure we'll definitely be hitting up some lunch spots together soon.
I'm amazed. I wish I had read this book years ago. If you have sat through my boring story and are still reading this, PLEASE go pick up this book. I'm pretty sure, if you're open to it, it'll revolutionize your life. No joke.
To once and for all end the question of what "hanging out" in the 21st century entails, I turn to the trusted "urban dictionary" http://hanging-out.urbanup.com/2576729 Check it out, peeps... this stuff is hard-core irrefutable.
Why is the phrase "Would you like to go out on a date?" so unheard of in the 21st century? Am I the only one caught/trapped in this impenetrable bubble of "hanging out"? Feel with me, bloggers!
There's a few others in there, but I honestly don't think they really even deserve a line item on my "budget of men" list. *wow i sound like a player... but like they say "Don't hate the playa, hate the game, son.* heehee
So back to this guy... he's 30, shorter than me (in heels), but honestly, I don't think I've met anyone more hilarious in my life. Hey, might as well enjoy the ride! I'm going out with him tomorrow. He has this whole day planned - car drive in his dodge viper, racing go-karts, adult arcade/dinner scene, some comedy club and/or some high-end lounge. A little intense for my 10 o'clock bed time, I'll admit... but should be fun.
Yeah, he's not my type - but do we really have a "type"? Can i go out with one guy and find out he's a tool then automatically lable any similar beings as "tools" as well? My thoughts - you don't know yourself well enough to know someone else before you meet them. ... a rewording of the golden phrase "Don't judge a book by its cover"
I'll follow-up next week with how it went lol. ENJOY your weekend, folks... afterall, we've waited a whole freaking 4 days for it!
#snOMG #Snowmageddon #Snowpacalypse
All of that added together equals B-U-S-Y (and snowed in). BUT I am back and at full-force! So... without further ado, here's my vent-session: *consider yourself warned*
So today, yes today, marks the day that the "evil twin sister" is having her evil offspring. Fine by me - I do not want kids any time in the near/distant future. Hey, to each his own right?! But if the e.t.s (evil twin sis) feels compelled to get knocked up at the ripe old age of twenty and bring a kid into the world, more power to her - just don't involve me.
Now I know what you (and everyone else in the world) is thinking... "Omg, how in the world could she take out a stupid grudge on a child!" But the way I see it is this: child or no child, what's done is done, son.
It takes on a similar resemblence of (yeah, all comparitive stories fall apart at some point, so bear with) a man on death row (yeah, ok it fell apart quick, i know). The dude may have been a serial-killer-turned-angel BUT that don't change the fact that he done killed everybody 'n their brother! (forgive the southern slang... It only comes out when I'm trying to prove a point)
So today I'm going on my merry way... I was in such a happy mood that I happened noticed a poor retarded, crippled woman trying to make her way into Target shopping center and was more than happy to put my things aside and wheel her into the warmth of Target and all it's blissful glory. *pats self on back* When BAM, text from father saying "I know you don't want to, but will you please consider meeting up with your sister to see the baby? We'll even go out to eat after!"
Instant. Mood. Killer.
I thought it over.... "serial killer, Heather... serial killer." And responded "Dad, sorry. Wrong place and definitely wrong time." I thought it got my point across - STOP asking me! I DON'T WANT THE EVIL TWIN SISTER BACK. Let's digress...
SO... you get the point, it's fine by me. Do what you want, when you want, how you want... BUT don't involve me. You wanted nothing to do with me then and I'm only returning the favor. (not you... the e.t.s.... i love you guys!)
We'll see what happens. Sheesh! I need a Starbucks mocha vent...i.
There was a Captain on a large ship and as he sat in his chamber, one of his sailors came down to him and said: “Sir, there is a light up ahead.”
The Captain said: “Well, is it coming straight at us or off to the side?” “Well”, the sailor replied, “it’s coming straight at us.”
“Then we must be on a direct collision course with another ship,” said the Captain. “Signal them that they must change theircourse by 20 degrees.”
The sailor ran off and did as he was told. He returned and said: “Sir, they signaled to us; ‘change OUR course by 20 degrees.’”
Well, the Captain was a little bit disturbed by this and he said: “tell them that I am a CAPTAIN and I COMMAND that they change their course by 20 degrees.”
The sailor ran off and did as he was told. He returned with their message: “I am a SEAMAN SECOND CLASS and I still suggest you change your course by 20 degrees.”
Well, by this time the Captain was mad; he was very mad, and he said, “You tell them I am a BATTLESHIP and I DEMAND that they change their course by 20 degrees.” Well, the sailor ran off and did as he was told.
Then he came back and he sat there silently as the Captain demanded: “So, are they changing their course?” And the sailor replied:
“Sir”, they said, “I am a LIGHT HOUSE and I recommend you change your course by 20 degrees.”
I came across this story while reading the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (which i highly recommend). The author, Stephen Covey, is pointing out the need to change our point of view in order to see things in the right 'light' so to speak.
The sea captian saw only his authoritative rank as a means to get what he wanted, but when presented with actuallity, he then changed his course. We are the captain when we head in our own direction oblivious to the wise council we have surrounding us. Only till we are about to collide with reality do we step back to reassess the situation - and that's only if we're lucky.
Don't let your ego get in the way of the lighthouse ahead.
Ha! I decided to keep #10 vacant for the future things that will make me happy. I'm sure I'll find something awesome that makes me happy and update this list later on.... hmmm, always weird to think about the future, no? Exciting too :D
As to the peeps who make me happy, it's all of you guys! And i'd simply love to know which ten things make you happy! (Also, i encourage you all to look at each other's blogs.... too much greatness to miss out on. For real).
* I've got to tell ya'll something - WORK BLOCKS HALF OF THE BLOGS I FOLLOW :.( feel free to cry with me. When i get home, however, I'll add the rest of my favs to this list. (This is also the reason my comments are limited on some blogs) :( (stupid work internets filter aka day killer!)
I walked into the store only to find the purse she wanted at the top most part of the ceiling on some hanger thing. I had to ask one of the workers to get it... three attempts with three different ladders later, she finally hands me the FUGLIEST PURSE EVER.
I bought it, cringing at the $75 bucks I'd just spent on a purse that was made for Lady Gaga... turns out I'd bought the wrong one... hallelujah! I think cross my fingers that the poor sales clerk will be off duty when I return it. I'd hate to see her face.
Oh, so I went on an ebay listing spree... listed anything and everything that wasn't bolted to the floor of our house. Two American Girl Dolls - Ok... a doll is a doll, right? WRONG... these women are going crazy asking me these in-depth questions about these freaking dolls! "Do they stand" "Where is the sweater" "Does this come with it" ....SHEESH ladies! What you see is what you get!
Anyways, enough with my ramblings... only 2 more hours to kill before I can leave for the day... maybe man-up and return that fugly purse from hell.... lol.
So, as the list shows, I've reached yet another cross-roads. Do what people think is best or do what I think will make me happy? It's risky - to "do my own thing" so to speak... but, like they say, with great risk comes great reward and the potential for great loss. As I see it, I've got nothing to lose and the world to gain! ....for now at least. Better risk it all before I have a mortgage and a full-time career.
Whose with me!? Live it up! You've only got one life.... make it yours and not anyone elses. I'll leave you with this quote: "Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death..."
So there you have it. 8 simple goals that I plan to accomplish this year... and maybe before the summer is over??! .... ok not the "5 books" one.... I am one slow reader. lol no joke.
So, if you had to pick your most favorite new year's resolutions, what would it be?!??! DO tell!
