- Part 1: The Fundamental Techniques of Handling People
- Part 2: Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Part 3: How to Win People Over to Your Way of Thinking
- Part 4: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense...
Simplistically stated. Stuff we all know. Stuff we all know we all know. And yet, reading it from the perspective of the writer puts a totally different spin on the topic of dealing with other people - a task we're faced with in absolutely all facets of our lives.
Under the Part 1: The Fundamental Techniques of Handling People, Dale Carnegie (the author), said to always view things from the other person's perspective. What does he mean? When Mr. Carnegie had rented a ball room to host his series on leadership, the hotel raised his usual rate by 300%. Did he storm into the managers office telling him what an idiot the hotel chain was? That now, because of their stupidity they'd lose his business all together?! No. Not even. He sat down across from the man and said he completely understood why the hotel would do this - to maximize profits. And had the manager not done his job, Mr. Carnegie would have expected him to be rightfully fired. And then he reasons with the man from the man's perspective. No yelling, no pointing fingers, no storming out. The Result? Mr. Carnegie's rate was dropped 250%. Amazing.
So what if Dale had walked in yelling and screaming and throwing things? He would have gotten his point across, yes. But do you think that hotel manager would have bent over backwards to decrease the cost to Mr. Carnegie? No way in hell.
This would pose a HUGE challenge to me. I mean, I've got to look out for numero uno, right? WRONG. Look out for others, and they'll do the same for you. It's a proven fact that I think we as individuals so often forget in this narcisistic society of the 21st century. I know I have.
Part 2 of the book - 6 ways to make people like you - recommends taking a deeper interest in others. Like really act interested in them, what makes them tick, what they did today. Never talk about yourself. No one cares about yourself. They care about the "me, mine, my, I". Harsh words, but the truth hurts.
Example: Recently a woman started working at my office. She was only a temp so no one has paid her much attention. The other day, she'd stopped in to ask me about the location of some recruiter in the buidling. I said the person was probably located on seventh floor and left it at that. I ran into the temp lady yesterday... the thought looming in my mind "Heather. take a deeper interest. Ask her about her day...ask her about "her" So I asked if she'd been able to locate the recruiter. Of course she hadn't! This building is an ant hill! I smiled and offered to take her upstairs to find the person.... testing to see if this book was legit. You know what happened?
It turns out that her children go to the same small private school as my little sister - the same one I'd graduated from years ago! By some luck of the draw, we'd ended up not only in the same building but on the same team! I'm pretty sure we'll definitely be hitting up some lunch spots together soon.
I'm amazed. I wish I had read this book years ago. If you have sat through my boring story and are still reading this, PLEASE go pick up this book. I'm pretty sure, if you're open to it, it'll revolutionize your life. No joke.
Self help books can be amazing when they come along at the right time.
I've realized that other people are much more interesting than myself, if only because I already know so much about myself. I love to find out what makes others tick. It can be so intriguing. Sounds like a good read.