Make This a Chapter in My Book...

Growing up, everytime I had a good, philosphical thought, I'd shout "Make this a chapter in my book!" Well, it certainly is not a book, but it's close enough.

I've decided to document via blog all the random concepts I've come up with over the years. Having turned 21 not more than two weeks ago, I'm pretty much ready to take on the world - blog style. I really tried to fit in to the "my boyfriend dumped me, and I got a great deal on this plus I just sewed an entire wardrobe" world of blogging, but that didn't go over too well.

These posts are loaded with random (sometimes useless) facts that you can hopefully gather inspiration from! ...or atleast, a conversation starter or two. Give it a read, so that you won't be tempted to judge the "proverbial" book by its cover... or in this case, the "proverbial" blog by its URL.

Chapter 21: The Profile Picture Dilemma

Picture yourself... this is the moment that could change your life forever. In this single minute of time, your future is in jeopardy. This... yes this, will decide who your friends are, who will become you enemies, and who you will marry.... you are about to choose.... Your Profile Picture.

How in the world did picking out a profile picture get so freaking intense?! I feel like my entire future depends on this little tiny facebook pic. Pressure, right?! I was all into these 'artsy fartsy' profile pictures until my sisters acted like I had the plague. Ugh. And since I'm not the epitome of photogenetic... it get's harder and harder to post up that McCheesy smile!

Ok, so I'll have to confess that I've probably been on one or more dates with guys I've met over facebook (not as sketchy as it sounds... I knew a friend who knew them who introduced us via the social networking site).... so yeah, maybe your profile picture is somewhat important after all?

BUT, don't even get me started on the old people on facebook these days! I'm having to "unfriend" old men who were friends with my father back in the day - HOW WEIRD! If you didnt' know, Facebook's highest percentage of users range between the ages of 35-54. Um, 54? Really?

I leave you with some statistics.... and yes, I've totally gotten off my "profile pic" topic, but guys... seriously... stats taken from strategylabs. I've inserted my own thoughts in orange...

The 35-54 year old demo is growing fastest, with a 276.4% growth rate in over the approximate 6 months since we last produced this report. OMG MOM AND DAD... get OFF facebook!
The 55+ demo is not far behind with a 194.3% growth rate Grandma and Granpda.... that means you too
The 25-34 year population on Facebook is doubling every 6 months Facebook has officially ruined the "high school reunion"
For those interested in advertising on Facebook, there are 27,912,480 users 21+, representing 66.3% of all users Not a bad marketing strategy however....
Miami is the fastest growing metropolitan area (88.5%) and Atlanta (6.4%) is the slowest Lol... random fact. Country vs. City maybe?
There are more females (55.7%) than males (42.2%) on Facebook – 2.2% are of unknown gender. The odds are never in my favor...
The largest demographic concentration remains the college crowd of 18-24 year olds (40.8%) which is down from (53.8%) six months ago. Twitter.... where all the cool kids are.

Take away? Parents (and herein lies the problem) and professionals are rapidly adopting Facebook. Should a marketer be concerned about this shift if they’re focused on youth marketing?"

Read More 2 comments | Posted by HMiracle

Chapter 20: "I've Got a Gun"

...Quite literally in fact.

It started early last week when some man in an oversize truck started waving at me, then proceeded to tail me, and followed-up with attempting to motion for me to follow him.

Um. How about no.

Fortunately, I've got 300 ponies under the hood of a sports car weighing less than a Smart_Car (ok not really... but you get the idea) so it wasn't hard to evade the creeper.

This isn't the first time a band of creepy older men have approached me in some way/shape/form either... benefits of living right outside the Capital of the USA, I suppose. So I made up my mind...

Got my conceal carry permit for the state of Virginia last week. Now now, I know what you're thinking - "Heather, violence is not the answer." And I'd agree with you! But I seriously doubt that potentially creepy man lurking by my car in the parking lot follows our same train of thought...

So sometime over the winter break, I plan to get a pistol or semi-automatic and just have it around for safe keeping. No worries about not knowing how to use it either, because I've gotten numerous offers from people willing to take me out to the local range for some target practice.

Scary? Yes. Necessary? I think so at least. Would hate to be that article in the newspaper that causes all the people reading it to just *sigh* and say "Well, it was too bad she didn't have some way to protect herself from him..."

Women and men both, I think it's a great idea... when used the right way for the right reasons. Like they always say, "It's not guns that kill people, it's people that kill people."

Weird post, I know... must be 'cause it's humpday. :P meh.

Read More 6 comments | Posted by HMiracle

Chapter 19: Ebay Makes Me Queen of the Internets

If you can remember back to my earlier post about ebay: Chapter 12 "The Almighty Ebay..." Then you will be prepared for today's post about how Ebay makes me queen of the internets! So i was selling a small Coach bag thing... By small, I mean this thing can only hold a few papers! I had it listed at $15 bucks with a fee of $10 for shipping/handling. Total list price: $25.00

Of course, you got those ebay "low-ballers" who offer you $10 dollars for the purse if you take away shipping and handling.... Um, how 'bout no?

As the bidding came to an end, I look to see the total selling price (including shipping) and you all will not believe it...

$89.00!!

Yes, this officially makes me queen of the internets. Like is said before, you guys. Ebay is a gold mine just waiting to be bidded on! My challenge to you: Take something that's worth meh... not much to you, list it, and see what you get for it. Then, post up the difference between what you thought it was worth and what it actually sold for... (Example: $25 (what i thought it was worth) - $89 (what it sold for) = $64 (profit gained))

PROFIT people, think PROFIT!

Read More 0 comments | Posted by HMiracle

Chapter 18: Shoe Fetish

Two posts in one day?? Oh. yes. I. did!

So this weekend marks the beginning of the last week of the school semester... aka finals week. Now, I'm sold on the thought that a degree is the job market's way of trapping you into 4 years of useless classes so that you can't find a job upon graduating because you have no experience because you were too busy getting your degree. It's a mad and endless cycle really.

SO to put off the inevitable (studying German), I decided to see just how many stiletto/wedge high heels I actually had. Oh boy. It's bad, i tell you... BAD.

***For what you are about to see, please... PLEASE to do think of me as any less of a person. Or as a freak for that matter.***

Consider yourselves WARNED...

Read More 5 comments | Posted by HMiracle

Chapter 17: The Art of Leaving

So... here's my beef. Yeah, I just said "beef" too. Which reminds me of that "Where's the beef" ad... is that where the proverbial "beef" comes from? but I digress...

I posted way back in the single digit Chapters about relationships, and how, once they end, you should attempt to learn as much as you can from the dissolved relationship instead of holding a grudge. Thereby, you turn a lose-lose situation into a win-lose situation. You win because you are now better off than before, and the partner loses because... well, he just does.

But... it is some kinda' hard to not hold a grudge!

Example 1:

About a year ago (this week, in fact) I'd been set up with a guy. I know what you're thinking... set-up's usually turn out horribly, but to my surprise, this guy was actually really attractive, funny, and a marine. We hung out for a solid two months or so.... he always saying those "We could make this work" and "I like you soo much" phrases that i typically don't care for. Then BAM, dude outright disappears. Never called or texted or nothing. I'd invited him to my christmas party too... and he totally left me stag.... not without a few kurt text messages on my part however ;)

Example 2:

I have an uncontrollable love for cars... i just can't help myself. about 6 months ago I pull into Starbucks. I'm walking to the door and this old man calls me over to "his" lamborghini. Of course, i couldn't resist and I asked for a look inside. Out of nowhere, the actual owner of the car, a young attractive persian guy, opens the door and lets me take a look-see. SHWEET HOTNESS... anyways, I say a few words then leave. 2 months later, I run into lamborghini guy at a traffic light... blah blah blah... invited him to a car show... and we kinda started "talking" and by that I mean seeing each other 1-2 times a week for a movie or dinner or coffee... etc. .... he always saying those "We could make this work" and "I like you soo much" phrases that i typically don't care for. Great, right? WRONG... dude had a business trip that was to last for 3 weeks... he drops out of sight for a solid 2 months. Never even wishes me happy birthday!

Back to my main point. This weekend I hit up a local car show, and won't you guess who was there? LAMBO guy in all his glory. "Oh Heather! It's been so long! We reeeally need to catch up! Hey, this week? Let's go shooting (yeah... I'll post about this "shooting" stuff soon)! Dinner maybe? Oh blah blah blah..."

On Sunday at church... I walk out of the bathroom (looking chic per usual) and there stands the MARINE in all his glory?! WTF... is this like "awkward-encounter weekend" and I missed the memo?? He smiles and squeaks out a "Hey... Heather." to wish I responded with an over-the-shoulder surprised "Um. Hey."

My question: Why won't these guys just LEAVE all the way? What's with this returning crap??! I am not a fan. Ugh

/rant.

Read More 2 comments | Posted by HMiracle

Chapter 16: I Thought This Stuff Only Happened In Movies

GUYS! ....I had so many possibilities of things to write about today until I experienced the events that took place this morning. I'm going to write it up like a news broadcast for dramatic effect.... don't hate.

"BREAKING NEWS: This just in...

In the wee hours of the morning on December 11, 2009, a young college student, H Miracle, was seen walking from her 350Z parked in the best parking spot on the fourth floor of her college's outside parking garage.

Witnesses say that the last time they saw Heather was while she was entering the elevator from fourth floor to first... but. she. never. made. it.

*camera switches to video clip of said elevator*

Heather accounted later on that the door to the elevator had closed abruptly leaving a lingering thought of panic in the back of her mind. This panic was soon heightened to a whole new level when the elevator came to a sudden halt suspending the cab and its contents between the first and second floors where it refused to move from that point.

Reporters at the sceen (ok... not really, but I'm being dramatic, rememebr?) reported that the college student had tried pressing every available button until the last alternative was the emergency call button to 911. Emergency services immediately contacted the local police department who, 15 agonizingly cold minutes later, finally managed to get the doors to unleash their hold of terror on their young stylish prisoner.

In a later police report (again... dramatic effect), it was said that upon exiting the tin coffin of death, Heather turned to the police men, smiled, and said "I think I'll take the stairs." ...

Stay tuned for our next report: Tiger Woods - 20 mistresses and counting!"

BAHAHAHA CAN YOU BELIEVE I GOT TRAPPED IN A FREAKING ELEVATOR!? I thought that stuff only happened in the movies!! Yeah, so I might've made it just a wee bit more dramatic than reality... but only a little. ;)

Moral of the Story: If you get stuck in elevators, request the emergency services send McGorgeous police men to your rescue.

Read More 4 comments | Posted by HMiracle

Chapter 15: Creeper Confessions

So, as non-gender specific as I've attempted (and somewhat failed... lol stephen) to be, I've got to post about this. And yes, I am a creeper... 100%. No doubt about it.

As I'm driving down the road about a month ago, I notice a BMW Z4... meh, it's a pretty sexy car... for a girl or an older man who thought it was "hip" to drive. Sprawled all over the back is some "Fitness Trainer" ad... now, I'm certainly not a fan of defacing any car... let alone a sports car... even if it is an advertisement.

Traffic here in the 'burbs of the District is comparable to a mall's parking lot at Christmas time, so needless to say... we were probably cruising along at a speed of 5 - 10 miles per hour. Making great time, I know. The Z4 passes me, just as I looked over only to notice the. most. gorgeous. man. ever. Yeah, Elise, you certianly caught on to something with these "meathead" types.

Anyways... we play a quick game of "who can get farther along in traffic than the other person"... i really don't think I've come so close to hitting a car in my life.... McGorgeous drives like an idiot. And... as quickly as it had begun, it ended. I took my exit never to see McGorgeous again.... until today.

*que background music*

There he was, in all his glory, in my rear view. He pulls along side looking as sexy as ever! I laughed... because, I mean, he is just that good looking. And he laughed... probably because he thought I was 12. Darn it.

And once again as fate would have it, I ran the yellow light and he didn't make it through. FATE, why must you be so cruel?! .... I really should stop running yellow lights too.

But, this time I looked him up... and by "look him up" i mean, I could probably tell you more about this guy than his own mother. Amazing what the power of the internets is capable of these days!

I will leave you (girls) with this... a photo I stole off of one of his many social networking profiles. I know what you're going to think... "Yeah sure Heather, I can google 'sexy gorgeous men' and post up random-ass pics too!" But I do not lie... this pic is ACTUALLY him... my future husband. *coughs*

Read More 2 comments | Posted by HMiracle

My Book

Why?

Why you ask? Not sure. I've always wanted to write down the randomness I think of, and even more so I would love to see who agrees with me and the other alternatives to my ideas.

Because?

Because

Make This a Chapter in My Book...

Chapter 21: The Profile Picture Dilemma

Chapter 20: "I've Got a Gun"

Chapter 19: Ebay Makes Me Queen of the Internets

Chapter 18: Shoe Fetish

Chapter 17: The Art of Leaving

Chapter 16: I Thought This Stuff Only Happened In Movies

Chapter 15: Creeper Confessions

My Book

Why?

Because?

Past Thoughts

Fellow Readers